The MP Expenses scandal escalated today when it was discovered that David Blunkett had claimed for a motorbike, a hang glider and a pair of binoculars. His claim for flying lessons was already dismissed.

Jacqui Smith apparently returned the videos to Knobbuster as they were soft core and she wanted the hard stuff, something hard enough to hit her husband with in a substantial way.

My aging local MP cant spell very well. Its not easy being dyslexic. He got his sleeping tablets mixed up with his Viagra and ended up having 40 wanks.

I hear the Pope is in Jordan. It didn't take her long did it!!!

MP's RELIEF ! Apparently 'swine flu' will never affect MP's as research has shown that it effects noses and throats. It leaves arseholes alone.