Just had to reprint this as its so good......I wish I had written it! lol

Subject: Police Complaint

Dear Sir/madam/automated telephone answering service,
Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Bodmin police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead.
Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Bodmin, by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board.
As I'm writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in St Marys Crescent, which is just off St Marys Road in Bodmin.
Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes an earth shattering CLANG! which rings throughout the entire building. This game is now in its third week and as I am unsure how the scoring system works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon.
The remaining five walking abortions are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins. One of them has found a saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on speed.
I fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited attention to the bottle of calor gas that is lying on its side between the two bins. If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend them the matches. Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I've just finished decorating the kitchen.
What I suggest is this - after replying to this e-mail with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again. This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.
I trust that when I take a claw hammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month head start before coming to arrest me.
I remain sir, your obedient servant
???????
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Mr ??????,
I have read your e-mail and understand you frustration at the problems caused by youth playing in the area and the problems you have encountered in trying to contact the police.
As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully with you. Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.
Regards
PC ?
Community Beat Officer
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Dear PC ?
First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my original e-mail. 16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record for Bodmin Police station, and rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next book.
Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has its own community beat officer. May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills? In the five or so years I have lived in St Marys Crescent , I have never seen you. Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with a chin like a wash hand basin? It's s urely only a matter of time before you are headhunted by MI5.
Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Bodmin, such as smoking in a public place or being Muslim without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to these twats that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere. The pitch on Fairpark Road , or the one at Priory Park are both within spitting distance as is the bottom of the Par Dock.
Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to contact me on xxxxx. If after 25 minutes I have still failed to answer, I'll buy you a large one in the Cat and Fiddle Pub.
Regards
P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you don't work for the cleansing department, with whom I am also in contact!!

Well done to whoever wrote the above!

Just finished watching the Dispatches programme on TV about the underground movements infiltrating our country. Every Mosque seems to be preaching the intolerant Shariya version of Islam. And encouraging its followers to kill not just Jews but Christians as well.

I remember when I worked in Finsbury Park for 3 years...every Friday afternoon the streets were cordoned off so that the now famous chap with ths Hook could preach murder and bloodshed in the name of Allah. he was protected by armed Police!

I have lived and worked in Islamic countries and suffered no problems..In fact I loved living there..but we are suffering here in the UK by the very ones that were not wanted in their own countries but welcomed with open arms here. I saw Gordon Brown inviting Muslim women to Downing Street to encourage them to take more interest and to integrate more. I dont see any other religion that has this unprecedented attention......what about the Hindus? the Jews? The Rastafarians ? Is it because they are peaceful and dont cause too much trouble ?

The Saudis are gradually taking over the running of most Mosques in the UK with funding and literature that encourages Violence and aggression. The Fatwa boys (Saudis) are feared even in Islamic countries with their brand of non-tolerance Islam. Beheadings and floggings go on every day there. But we choose to turn a blind eye to it as we need their oil. And they know this and take full advantage of it.

Isnt it time we stopped the buildings of so many mosques and limited them to one per county ? They seem to be the fountain of encouragement of the volatile and intolerant and blood thirsty section of Islam that we do not want in the UK. Shariya law must not be tolerated by any decent human being and should be openly banned and openly condemned by all. Not all Muslims follow this inhumane part of Islam and they should be the first to openly condemn this.

Unfortunately, if the Imam tells his followers to do something against their own beliefs.....they will still do it. Such is the power instilled within the Mosques.

I have just heard from a very dear friend of mine who tells me that last week she walked to Sainsburys in Catford in South London and on her way back she noticed a black couple arguing so she waited till she thought they had gone. There is a tunnel underneath the Station which is a short cut to the street which she had to walk down and as it looked clear she walked down it. At the other end the black man was kicking the shit out of the black womans dog.
All she said was ' please dont hurt the dog anymore'......that was enough for the brainless moronic thug to push her in the chest and punch her on her jaw! She is 60 years old.

She was taken to hospital as someone found her slumped in the tunnel unconscious and phoned for help. She has not much recollection of what happened other than being pushed and suffers from vertigo now.
The local police are now investigating and guess what ?......the Railway Police will not release the video of the tunnel on that night unless the local Police PAY for it! The reason being that they wanted to investigate it as they could then quash it as would frighten people from using the Station if publicised.

What the fuck is happening to our country ? Black crime is escalating to huge proportions because no one wants to say anything as it would be 'Racist!' This is exactly why they think they can get away with anything they do...the race card is always used in their defence. The majority of crime happens to be Black in South London as it is largely inhabited by a black population. It is a no go area after dark. However this is not confined to just South London but everywhere in England.

I have black friends in Catford who absolutely agree with me and I wish I knew who did this as they are quite willing to kick the shit out of this coward ! Let him know how the dog and this lady felt too. I have also advised her to report this crime to the RSPCA as to the harm caused to the dog. What a bloody fucking coward!

Isnt it time we stopped looking the other way ? and actually DID something about it !?

PS: AND just before all the do-gooders who are cossetted in their environments and totally unaware of what real life in the streets is like and who want to scream its not just blacks who are causing violent crime.....I am well aware that Whites and Asians cause just as much mayhem in various parts of the country, however I am highlighting one of them here to bring to light a specific area. Crime on this scale was a disaster waiting to happen when the Labour Government brought in a ruling that you could not discipline your own kids. Parents are now scared of their own kids because of it!

Did anyone see the smug bastard who is the managing Director of British Gas justifying a 33% increase in charges in GMTV this morning ? Of course they are ONLY making 3% profit which still returns £5 billion profit!!
Over the past 3 years I have shouted and shouted to no avail....I predicted that this would be coming over 2 years ago. WHY are the utilities we depend on to sustain life in the hands of PROFIT making companies ? Especially water! These should be state controlled or if they dont want the responsibilities then.....to a NON PROFIT company!
Its a bloody travesty that the greedy pigs who control these utilities are completely profit orientated and have absolute disregard for the welfare of the community or indeed for human life.

As we have a spineless Government, nothing will be done except a lot of windbags pompously posturing on TV saying that they are doing everything they can to help!

The number one Utility that should be nationalised immediately is Water!
How can you set a profit on a commodity that we cannot sustain life without ? Its no good blaming the US for everything. MOst of the problems have been caused by greedy profiteering by the utility companies.

Get these companies nationalised again or put a block on any increases and make it illegal to penalise those in trouble and in debt from these swingeing criminals.

Just seen Dwayne Chambers on morning TV.....and a load of well known athletes and celebrities distancing themselves from his deed and also shaking their heads pompously as if they were never guilty of anything ever in their lives!
This guy was wrong in what he did but has paid the price for it. He should be restored back into athletics as he WILL be watched and checked continuously because of his past. I see no danger in it and he is very publicly remorseful about it.
If this is correct then you are saying he is worse than a murderer, as they only get upto 6 years these days and yet taking drugs to enhance your performance is a lifetime sentence!! What poppycock!!
Let him in and win some medals for us! And stop being so bloody self righteous and judgemental! I see footballers kick the shit out of each other,and its accepted! Boxers punch the bollocks off the opponent if no one is looking! Its ALL a form of cheating! And you cant tell me that some of our best known footballers dont go on the field with the finest columbian oozing from their nostrils! Wake UP and taste the coffee!

Here are some things not a lot of peple know , that may help you to stretch your money, take heed!:

1.......Only buy petrol in the early morning when the ground temperature
is cold.

All petrol pumps store their petrol beneath the ground.The colder the ground, the more dense the petrol. When it gets warmer, petrol expands.. so buying in the afternoon or evening....your litre is not exactly a litre! In the Petroleum business, the specific gravity and the temperature of the petrol, diesel, ethanol and other products play a big and important part. A one degree rise in temperature is a big deal in this business but the service stations do not have temperature compensation at the pumps !

2........When filling up do not squeeze the nozzle to a faster mode!

The trigger normally has three speeds...low , middle and high. You should be pumping on low speed, thereby minimising the vapours that are created when pumping. All hoses at the pump have a vapour return. If you are pumping at the fast rate,some of the liquid in your tank becomes vapour. Those vapours are being sucked up and back into the underground storage tanks, so your getting less worth than your money is buying!

3........Fill up when your tank is HALF FULL !

The reason for this is that the more fuel you have in your tank, the less air occupying the empty space. Petrol evaporates faster than you think! Petroleum storage tanks have an internal floating roof. The roof serves as zero clearance between petrol and atmosphere, so it minimises the evaporation.

4........ DO NOT FILL UP if there is an storage tanker filling up at the station!

Thee is a strong possibility that the perol/diesel is being stirred up as the fuel is being delivered and you might pick up some dirt that normally settles on the bottom.

Remember...Always Fill up in the morning--when your tank is half full-- and in SLOW mode!

Apart from that try to drive in higher gears which uses up less fuel.

Now....put that in practice and see how much less you pay than when you didnt do it!

And send any savings my way! lol

LOvely
!
For a restful night!

As befits a Supreme Ruler!

Time for Dinner!

Pity its hot here, we could have a fire!

A little nooky corner!

Time to clean up!

And so to bed!

Have you guessed yet who this belongs to ? A Saudi Sheik ? A Billionaire ?
NO! it belongs to one

ROBERT MUGABE

Killer, Murderer, thief and Ruler of ZIMBABWE! Amazing what a bit of killing can get you!

Dont forget to send your money so that he can afford to live in the custom he is used to...poor chap.

For Heavens sake, someone assassinate this creep.

Look at the car in front of the 60mph signs. Now imagine a civilian dressed in Police uniform standing directly in front of the sign holding a hand operated speed camera 'clocking' cars accelerating up from 30mph towards the sign. Apparently until you 'pass' the sign, the speed limit is still 30mph, and therefore you are breaking the speed limit if you are doing anything over 30! A very Blatant case of raising revenue and reaching given targets to increase their earnings. And dressed in Police Uniforms to stop the public from attacking them, although they are NOT Policemen!
These bastards are employed under the 'Safety Partnership'and paid a salary and comissions on how many they catch. Each have a target to reach each month given to them by the Staffordshre Police and the Council.
What this particular operation had anything to do with ' Road Safety' is preposterous. Just greedy bastards out to make as much money as possible.

That 15 feet cost me £70 and 3 points on my licence for doing 37mph.
I have driven over 3 times around the world and a very Safe driver with nothing on my licence when I came here, and within the space of 9 months I now have 6 points. I pity the people living here permanently as it is a blatant case of bullying by the local authorities and robbing them of their hard earned money.

Beware.....There are more speed cameras in Staffordshire than in the WHOLE of Europe.

The surprising thing about all of the killing and beatings this syphillis infested tyrant is continuing to inflict on both white and black, is that not a single African country has condemned any of it. Is it because most of them if not all, agree with what he is doing but afraid to say so aloud ? I have a feeling this is so.

Africa is now the begging bowl of the World, thanks to its tyrannical tribal leaders, who grab any aid from the West and then spend it on the latest mercedes and gold plated atrocities that low taste conjures up with newly found wealth.
It shows that Africa has not moved forward from the barbaric ways of the indigenous tribes, where spears and knives have been replaced by machine guns and baseball bats. Usually inflicted on the poor and needy and those unable to defend themselves by the murderous bastards who pocket all the aid that is generously donated by gullible but good causes.

The merest excuse to use the race card is blatantly exhibited and the 'Whites' are blamed for everything. Today in Sharm el Sheikh, a reporter who approached Mugabe for an opinion was told by a black henchman that he would be blasted if he came any nearer, and that who did he think he was approaching a 'State leader'??!!!

'Is it because you are white that you think you can approach a national leader like that ?!'

I think its time we woke up to the African situation. Aid should be stopped immediately on all counts where monetary contributions are given either by Governments or by Charities. These people have to learn to live like the rest of the World and not fed with silver spoons. We should only think of makng them self-sufficient by training and encouragement. What are all the African doctors, nurses, Lawyers, Plumbers, Architects, Teachers doing here in the West? They should be in their own countries helping to uplift standards and make Africa a place where their experience would be valuable......More valuable than continually giving them money. That obviously doesnt work. By all means train the kingpins of their societies here in the West but then export that knowledge immediately they are qualified.

Corruption, brutality,cruelty on an unimaginary level are everyday things in Africa, unfortunately when their citizens come here, some of those traits are imported into our own communities. I am not saying we are any better in some cases, however we are nowhere anywhere near the levels that are 'normal' in Africa. Amazing then that after all this time that people like Mandela and Bishop Tutu have suddenly emerged to condemn Mugabe's behaviour......what took them so long ? Is it because it is now so topical, its time to distance themselves from any negative fallout that may ensue ?

I have it on good authority that Mugabe is at an advanced state of Syphillis, which is being blamed on some of his behaviour.

Pity that Zimbabwe does not have oil......The SAS would have knocked him out ages ago and we would of been there to help!